Diary of an international student: Part II
First Days in the USA: Dinner and Death Threats
Minh Le
Issue date: 2/26/10 Section: Opinion
My Vietnamese friend Divan recently left a community college in northern Washington for a university in Missouri. Part of him was glad to be leaving, a sentiment he traces back to his first week in Washington. On his first day in the U.S. he was tired and starving by the time he got to his dorm room, which he shared two other American students. They were not there when he came. He had dinner, took a shower, then went to bed.
The next morning, the dorm manager woke him up, telling him that he had intruded on the two American students' privacy and private property when he ate their food and used their bathroom without permission.
He was stunned because sharing food is common in Vietnam. "Well, that is the difference, son. Americans respect each others' privacy," the manager said.
"Remember it and don't make this mistake again."
"That was the first lesson I learned about Asian and American cultural differences," Divan said. "But the second lesson-I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry."
After the manager left, Divan wrote a note to his roommates, telling them that sharing food is common and they should "attempt to resolve any problem by bilateral diplomacy. Ask for the authorities' intervention would be unnecessary."
"My English at that time was academically weird, simply because I did not get exposed to any native English speaker before," he said.
Obviously, the communication failed due to his odd English. More ridiculously, the roommates thought Divan had gotten drunk and threatened to kill them, since he just happened to put the letter next to a couple of empty beer bottles and a knife.
"Asking for authorities' intervention," he laughed, "was now necessary."
The roommates called 911: the police evacuated the whole dorm in middle of the night and arrested him. After less than 24 hours in Washington, Divan was in jail.
"I've learned that not only do Americans expect their privacy, but they try to solve problems in accordance with the law. Asians tend to solve problems personally and privately to maintain relationships."
This event taught Divan a fundamental difference between the two cultures.
If you are faced with this kind of situation (though, I hope not), you will spend a few minutes explaining your customs to the newbies, and you will learn about theirs as well.
The next morning, the dorm manager woke him up, telling him that he had intruded on the two American students' privacy and private property when he ate their food and used their bathroom without permission.
He was stunned because sharing food is common in Vietnam. "Well, that is the difference, son. Americans respect each others' privacy," the manager said.
"Remember it and don't make this mistake again."
"That was the first lesson I learned about Asian and American cultural differences," Divan said. "But the second lesson-I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry."
After the manager left, Divan wrote a note to his roommates, telling them that sharing food is common and they should "attempt to resolve any problem by bilateral diplomacy. Ask for the authorities' intervention would be unnecessary."
"My English at that time was academically weird, simply because I did not get exposed to any native English speaker before," he said.
Obviously, the communication failed due to his odd English. More ridiculously, the roommates thought Divan had gotten drunk and threatened to kill them, since he just happened to put the letter next to a couple of empty beer bottles and a knife.
"Asking for authorities' intervention," he laughed, "was now necessary."
The roommates called 911: the police evacuated the whole dorm in middle of the night and arrested him. After less than 24 hours in Washington, Divan was in jail.
"I've learned that not only do Americans expect their privacy, but they try to solve problems in accordance with the law. Asians tend to solve problems personally and privately to maintain relationships."
This event taught Divan a fundamental difference between the two cultures.
If you are faced with this kind of situation (though, I hope not), you will spend a few minutes explaining your customs to the newbies, and you will learn about theirs as well.
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